It’s been a good while since I’ve posted. Let’s start with a brief recap.

Fell for a guy. Really fell. I’m terrible at doing that. Thought things were going kinda good, except for me being clingy at times. Was told one night that:
1) He doesn’t have time for a relationship.
2) He went on a date with someone else.
3) He feels no chemistry with me and realized he felt more with this other guy.
He also more or less told me that this wasn’t him saying he doesn’t want to see me.

So, sort of mixed messages there. I took it as he doesn’t care to see me regardless and if he does, there’s no expectation of being anything more than friends.

So, I went into my lil depression episode, bits of self-destructive behavior, took up gambling at the casino, I know that night I was drinking wine out of the bottle, sort of just wanted to be alone in my depression. Started talking to guy online that I typically disappear from as soon as I find someone I’m interested in, because talking to anyone else while I’m at least sort of seeing someone constitutes cheating in my mind and I avoid it. He asked me to come down to Albuquerque, so I did. Had a little fun, but guy I fell for texted me and called me on the way down adding a new sense of guilt to the whole trip. Guy in Albuquerque was sweet, bought me a flower arrangement. Went gambling with friend, Nolan. Won a bit. Was quite fun. Came back, spent night at guy I feel for’s house. Woke up early because he had to go to work. Had some fun with him. Texted him throughout today. There was some mention of seeing him again tonight. He decided sleep was more important than having me over, then texted me that he was lonely, so I dropped everything I was doing, which happened to be gambling at the casino because I was depressed that he had chosen sleep over me. Actually drove out to where he lives, on the opposite side of the city I live in, hoping that maybe he’d change his mind. Sent a couple of texts that I’m not sure how it made him feel. Basically told him I want him to be happy with or without me, I don’t notice the lack of sleep after time with him because I end giddy the next day from seeing him, and that one of the differences between us is that while he’ll choose what he wants or what he thinks is best for him, all I can choose IS him. He sorta killed the conversation with a “Sweet Dreams Mike” and stopped responding. I made the drive home. Still kinda depressed about it. Wasn’t expecting him to change his mind but was hoping for it. He did call me “amazing” last night, which made me happy, but the thought quickly passes when sleep becomes more important and I’m once again reminded that no matter how much I hope for him, he won’t be mine. The guy in Albuquerque was nice, but I’m not sure I can deal with the distance thing. He’d probably be better for me than allowing other guy to continually let me down. I’m sometimes more bitter than just about anyone, and I’m far too young to be as bitter as I am, but meh. I really need to stop falling for guys that will never commit to me.

“A might pain it is to love,
and ’tis a pain, that pain to miss;
But of all pains, the greatest pain,
it is to love, but love in vain.”
–Abraham Crowley

In other news, I had a fight with the DMV today. Got out of class, headed over to the DMV around 2:45pm. Had to wait a good forty-five minutes to an hour for someone to help me. Was told that there was a thingy on my license and that it would take a court order to allow me to renew my license. I was told it was from an out of state ticket. I figured it would’ve had to be from Colorado because that is the only other state I’ve had tickets in. The lady told me I would have to go to the DMV in Durango, CO to get it renewed. Needless to say I was not amused. Went out to the parking lot and called the Durango DMV. Was told I’d have to either come in or I could call the Denver number. Called the Denver number, was on hold for a good 20 minutes, during which time I was told that there was nothing like that on my record in Colorado. She was able to pull my national record and could not find anything. I was told that I should go back to the DMV and ask for a manager, and if need be, get the NM DMV helpdesk to call the CO DMV Helpdesk to show my record as being clean. So, now pissed and annoyed and it being just 5 minutes after 4pm, I went back to the DMV. The front door was locked, and I was very annoyed, so, I went to the exit door and waited for a customer to come out. Stepped inside when the person left and was promptly yelled at by three workers that I was not allowed in through that door and I would have to leave. I asked for a manager and was told that there was no one there. When I was sitting for the hour-ish waiting to renew my license I noticed on the wall the name of the manager, Bernie. So, I asked for Bernie, and this lady came out from around a corner, clearly pissed that I was there. I quickly explained the situation, she told me that I would have to call a court and she would see if she could get me the number. She disappeared to her office for a few minutes, came back, told me that all she could find was something with a last name very similar to mine, just an added s at the end, and the entry was created with a fake social security number, completely different birthday and whatnot. She was apologetic that I was told the wrong thing earlier and I apologized for being problematic. Tomorrow I will hear back as to why I can or cannot renew my license.

I think that’s all for now. Must get some sleep.

Okay, so, over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking more and more about my decision to move. The more I think about the move the more foolish it seems. I’m placing all my faith in someone. I would completely uproot my life and be at someone’s mercy. I’ve learned enough to know that I feel guilty living off of anyone else. I know that finding a job is sometimes hard, depending how much you’re hoping you’ll be making.

I received a phone call the day I was planning to move from Soulmate. It was the phone call that woke me up. He asked when I was leaving, reminded me that he had taken some of Monday and all of Tuesday off because he was anticipating I would be there. When he asked if I was sure this is what I wanted, I was not able to answer that it was all I wanted. It took meeting some people here in Farmington to make me realize that I could be happy in either place. This move is not my only shot at happiness. Although I do think Soulmate would be a good match for me, I really can’t abandon my family at the moment and move. I could, but not without regretting how I left them. I know I am easily influenced by others. He’s mentioned how he has in the past hoped that his family would live with him, but they won’t move. I didn’t appreciate the lecture I received about how this place is toxic. It’s not toxic, it is my home. I did find it interesting that the situation turned into, either I move now, or he wants nothing to do with me.

I also found out today that I was awarded a scholarship at the local community college. The scholarship will pay for my tuition for the next two semesters and give me about $95/semester extra, so, basically enough for one book, or if I’m lucky, two.

I could never be 100 percent certain that this move is what I need to do. I don’t believe I need to leave everything I know behind in order to be happy.

I received a call back from him a couple hours after I told him that I couldn’t move. Honestly I would’ve gone through with the move if not for that phone call that morning. I would’ve packed and called him as I was leaving, but instead, I was chewed out for not already being on the road and only thinking that this is what I wanted. Most of you that know me know that I don’t feel strongly about many things. Anyhow, his phone call, a couple hours after I told him I couldn’t move right now, I was told how it was like I abandoned him at the alter. *rolls eyes* And was told how someday it will happen to me because I did it to him *rolls eyes a second time* That’s what I get for answering the phone when he called.

The high pressure was plenty to eventually convince me that this isn’t what I wanted, to live constantly having to check with what he wanted. It wouldn’t've been a mutual relationship, although I did fantasize it that way at first. So, I quit with the online profile things for right now.

I started with school today. Happy about that for the most part. Books are really, really expensive. $460 for my 4 books I think. Just outrageous. Oh well. And now I’m jobless… must get back to searching.

Have you ever instantly felt a connection with another person that you thought absolutely unexplainable? Ever receive the influence of a few little words that motivates you to re-evaluate everything about yourself? I received a message out of the blue from someone on the other side of the country, and have such a familiar feeling with this person that I am almost lost in it.

I’ve spent days asking my self what I should do.

Your soulmate messages you from across the country. What do you do?

You move to him.

I’ve re-evaluated my life. My little plan of going back to community college here, of working at Walgreen’s through school, to live here with my family, it’s not what I really want. Life is too short to not live your life on your own terms. With Walgreen’s cutting my hours, I can barely survive if I stay here, and I won’t make it once college starts. So, I need a new job, I’m not happy in Farmington, I have one friend left here, and other than that, why stay here? For the hope that in a couple of years I can start to build the life I want? That I’ll eventually find someone that truly loves me?

I’ve found someone who I will happily give it all up for. Actually, he found me. Someone who exceeds my every dream and the limits of my imagination of what my partner could be. Everything I hoped for he is. I do believe I found my actual soulmate. The one I am destined to spend the rest of my life with. Someone who re-ignites my hopes and dreams. Who makes my existence meaningful and bright. He saves me from my monotonous life. I give all that I am to him, and he gives to me all that he is. I leave my life here behind to enter his. I have the faith to make this “Leap of Faith.” I know he will not let me fall. I will simply refer to him as Soulmate. Although i’ve only known of him for a short while, he is the one I’ve dreamed after all my life.

I will leave my life here behind on August 19th, and I cannot wait to be a part of his.

I remember the quote from Thoreau that encouraged my move back home,
“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,
to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could
not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die,
discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life,
living is so dear; nor did I wish topractise resignation,
unless it was quite necessary.”

That quote applies just as well to my situation now. My choice. I also recall The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost.

“Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I–
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”

I have made my choice. I will move. I will live with my soulmate, and share my life with him.

May all of you that read this find your own soulmates and not be afraid of the obstacles that you must overcome.

Those of you that know me and my personal life, know that my parents are going through a divorce, and the father of my siblings is a bastard. The divorce is nowhere near final, and he is already engaged to another woman and she is living with him. I cannot stand her and refer to her as either Tramp or Cunt. She’s insane and creates quite the hostile environment for my siblings. This is the woman that tried to abandon him and my siblings in Denver, stemming from an incident where I did not say “hi” to her because I saw no need to, as she’s not a part of my family.

Before I go on, I need to change a couple nicknames… My father is dead. “The guy that fathered my siblings” is a horrible nickname, because he was a terrible father, and saying he fathered is a travesty of its own. I’d go with “The guy that knocked up my mother” but that gets kinda long typing… so, for lack of a better word at the moment he is now Bastard. Now allow me to explain why my father is dead, and Bastard lives on…

During the last week, the kids (my nickname for my younger siblings), and Bastard had an appointment with their counselor. The counselor is there to assist the Guardian Ad Litem in determining what is best for my brother and sister. I’ve learned that during this meeting some things were talked about. Bastard was warned previously by the counselor how dangerous bipolar people can be. The environment Tramp creates is dangerous to the kids, as it shows them that it’s okay for people to act crazy, irrational, and threaten to leave them in another state. She has several times criticized the kids to the point of them crying. Like I pointed out before, Bastard is the one that first told me she was bipolar.

In this meeting Bastard would “swear on a stack of bibles” that Tramp is not bipolar. The kids were present when he told me she was bipolar and brought up that they were there when he told me Tramp was bipolar and how Tramp is embarassed to tell doctors that she is bipolar. He still denied it and would swear that Tramp is not bipolar, which leaves her insane behavior without a reason, so all we can assume is that she is just fucking nuts. Okay, let’s go with this for a moment, Tramp is not bipolar…

Now a little background on me, after my move back home from being on my own in Alabama, I really didn’t get along with Bastard. I was only home, at most 4 months before I moved out of the house again, most of that time was spent with my job, a week here and a week there and whatnot. I believe I spent at least a couple of weeks at a friend’s living there with his parents because I did not get along with Bastard. During one of my times at home, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I tried to make appointments with psychiatrists in the area to get some medication and treatment. I had clinical depression in Alabama and anti-depressants had helped, I was happy, but that was not the case at home with Bastard. So, I decided that I would check myself into the behavioral health wing of the local hospital. I needed help, and I just couldn’t take things as they were anymore. I was there for three days before voluntarily checking myself out. During this time I met with one psychiatrist I think, possibly two. Her quick estimate was that I might not be just depressed, but I might be bipolar. At the time I was on anti-depressants and Adderall for ADD/motivational problems. I think the manic states she thought I was in was more caused by the Adderall than anything else. So, she said I was bipolar, prescribed one more pill for me to take, changed me to a different anti-depressant, I checked myself out, and the health insurance covering me expired shortly after. My last medical diagnosis by a psychiatrist was that I was Bipolar. Bastard knew this.

So, Tramp is “not” bipolar, and I “am” bipolar. This is what has caused me to disown that Bastard. He decides to turn the tables… “Well, if bipolar people are so dangerous, maybe I should get full custody of the kids because Michael is bipolar.” God it cuts into me a little bit more every time I recall that. He is saying that I am more of a threat to my brother and sister than Tramp is. A woman who criticizes them until they cry, constantly lowers their self-esteem, and tried to abandon them in another state, is less of a threat than me. I love my brother and sister, they enjoy having me back home. I’ve been home maybe a month now, I have done more with them than they’ve done with Bastard in the last 6 months. I can recall the one time that I’ve yelled at my younger sister since I’ve been home. It was over her wanting to take a water bottle to bed instead of getting a cup of water. I know, stupid reason to yell, I did try asking nicely, multiple times, but she wouldn’t listen. Even though justified, I feel guilt over that, and I’m supposed to be more of a threat to my brother and sister than his psychotic Tramp is? What the fuck?

Now I remember the other thing Tramp has done that makes me want to cunt-punt her… She has told my brother and sister that my mother doesn’t love them and only wants custody of them for the child support money. Can you believe that shit?

The kids stood up for me in the counseling session. The counselor herself said that she didn’t believe me to be a problem, and changed the subject.

He thinks I’m a threat to my brother and sister?

Okay, let me first say this post has absolutely nothing to do with ichthammol other than that I find the word kinda unusual. Days in the pharmacy are going okay. I’m slowly learning names of dozens of people throughout the area that use Walgreens as their pharmacy. There are a number of customers I can’t stand, yet will bite my tongue and help. I’ve been yelled at by at least 2 customers, who have told me that they will take their business elsewhere, not that I really care. One of these customers was pissed because Walgreens did not automatically call his doctor and request additional refills. *shrugs* Anyhow, despite not generally caring for the work, and helping crabby people that don’t understand I have no idea how to spell their complicated names, things are going okay. I do believe there is one gay in the pharmacy. He has thus earned the nickname Pharmagay. Pharmagay is a gay (happy) gay. Generally excited about minor things and whatnot, and doesn’t understand why I don’t feel strongly about one thing or the other. Things are okay, nothing is particularly great, and I don’t see the point in using additional energy to seem more enthusiastic about anything. I am a little excited about getting back to college. My classes are registered for, and I have a tuition bill of $405 for 16 credit hours. I’m not too worried about getting that together. If worse comes to worse the tuition gets thrown on my Amex card. The books are kinda expensive, but I’ll do the same, if worse comes to worse. I have made an Amazon.com Wish List, because I can: https://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/wishlist/362RZJ8TGFNI6 I think that’s just about it. I’m making white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies right now, from one of those breakapart packages of cookie dough. Walgreens is currently cutting hours. I’m down to about 32 hours per week, which means I’m going to have that much more trouble getting by. Hopefully they work with my college schedule and everything goes well. I made an appointment to get STD tested on July 31st. I’m not too worried about it. I think I”m clean, but it’s always best to be certain. Details about the ABQ expedition over the weekend to follow later.

Okay, I admit I kinda dropped off the face of the Earth for a little bit there. I’ve been working, spending less time online, and still slacking just as much. I have a job at Walgreens as a Pharmacy Tech. I don’t necessarily like my job, but it does pay my bills. I have enrolled at San Juan College this fall. The classes I’m taking are: Creative Writing, Beginning Japanese Conversation, Interpersonal Communication, Fitness 1, General Physics, and Linux+. My designated major at San Juan College is Arts. I’m going for the Associate of Arts degree, mainly because it allows me to take the classes I want and they count towards a degree. I’m eager to start school, but first day of class isn’t until August 25th. Between now and then I need to come up with $405 for the tuition payment at San Juan College, and then books fee, whatever that it. Here’s to hoping that the fitness 1 class is what I need to get into shape. I think that’s it for now. I need to get ready so I can meet my friend for breakfast. Have fun!

It’s about a week until I make the move down to Farmington. I sent my bed off today. I have one week of sleeping on the floor ahead of me. Bleh. I need to work on packing up this other stuff. Eventually. I went to the dentist today. I can eat again! I love my front teeth, and now they’re actually decent looking. For what I paid to get them that way, they damn well better be. The crown unfortunately came back from the lab FUBARed. It was huge and ugly, so they’re trying to rush a new one to be put on next week. I’m glad to be able to tear with my front teeth. I had to celebrate by going to a Greek restaurant and ordering gyros. So yummy.

I have a job lined up for my move back down to Farmington. It’s great to move with a job already in mind. I’m going to work as a Pharmacy Tech at Walgreens. It’ll be walking distance from my house. I did the drug screen on Friday. Here’s to hoping that my once or twice being in the same room as people using it, doesn’t show on the test.

Now for the family drama, or “How moving a mattress turned into a cunty experience.”

I have been stressing for weeks over how to get my bed home. It’s a good bed, I love my bed, it beats the hell out of the Walmart futon I slept on for a year. I drive a lil Toyota Yaris, which is in no way equipped to haul a mattress. As my moving date drew closer I became more desperately searching for a way to move it. Last weekend I called Dad and asked him if he had any ideas. His response, “I could bring the truck up, but I know it would cost at least $400 in gas to get there and back. You’d be money ahead just selling it and buying a new one, but I’ll think about it and talk to you about it later.” A few days passed, his response, “If you had any other way of getting that mattress home I wouldn’t try to make the trip up there. Hotel rooms are expensive up there.” At this point I informed him that after talking with my mother’s neighbor, I might have found a way but wouldn’t know until Wednesday. As soon as I found out that I did indeed have a way to get the mattress home I called him and told him. “I’ve already booked the hotel off of Priceline.com. I won’t take the truck, instead we’ll take [the Tramp’s] car.” So, he made the trip a vacation, yet somehow justifies it in his mind that he made this trip for me. He has no room to take anything I have home, and was of absolutely no help getting my bed home. He invited me to come see him, my siblings, and his tramp and her daughter. I made the trip downtown, paid the $10 weekend parking fee at a lot, and met up with them. Perhaps I threw the first stone by intentionally ignoring his tramp and her daughter. I’m sorry, but they’re not a part of my family. Isn’t it true that if you’re not going to say something nice you’re not supposed to say anything at all? Apparently Tramp has been whispering malevolent suggestions about me to Dad. I know she at least called me problematic. In some ways I’m as equally tolerant of his living situation as he is of me. He knows I’m gay, and he doesn’t talk about it. I really haven’t had a need to try to force an issue with him about it, and honestly I’m not sure if he has mentioned to his tramp that I am gay. I’m sure he sees it as a taboo subject. I could understand if he asked me what the hell I was doing, after 20 years of being with my partner, leaving, and two months later being with someone else, especially if I had kids. He has tried to justify his cheating before by saying how good it feels to be touched, and how he felt under appreciated. The very thought makes me gag. I’ve learned that sometimes you just can’t combine your friends together, it doesn’t work. He is trying to force 2 strangers into our family I don’t begrudge the tramp’s daughter, as she is too young, and certainly can’t control the actions of her mother. I do genuinely dislike the tramp. I was arguing previously with Dad about the wellbeing of his daughter and son and she decided to put her two cents in, basically calling my sister a liar as to her treatment of her, and proceeded to tell me how I should go back to school and other topics which she has absolutely no say over. I told her I didn’t like her parenting style, she started yelling at me about judging her. Bleh. Isn’t that what we do everyday about everything? We take something and we consider it’s value. If we evaluate something and conclude that is does have some value, we keep it, whether it be a person, an object, a place, a thought, anything. If we conclude that something has no value, we discard it, if only to prevent wasting away our valuable time on something. I’m not being harsh or insensitive, but from a utilitarian prospective, this is what we do. I have concluded that Tramp has absolutely no value to me and consequently, the same with her daughter. She is unstable mentally, verbally abusive, and rather annoying. There is no rhyme or reason for me to go through the effort of dealing with her in the slightest. More on her mental instability later.

Today I decided I would keep up my little mischievous ways by subtly asking my brother what they were doing for dinner, and mentioning if there was any talk about me. The apparently did not sit well with Tramp. Dad told my brother to tell me that I was invited to dinner, if I would not be insultive or rude. I replied to my brother with a “Hell no.” In reality I had already satisfied my hunger on delicious Greek food. I probably just intended to find a way to have the topic of me brought up in conversation.

Side note: Is there anyone out there that brushes their teeth before a meal to “clean the pallette?” I have honestly never heard of this practice yet Tramp demanded this from my brother. I made the suggestion that I would assume most people would not prefer to have minty overtones to their first few bites of food. I believe a drink of water would be a more effective way.

So apparently the topic of me, because I ignored her and her daughter, is enough to force Tramp into a “bipolar episode,” or as I’d rather refer to it, a “bitch jolt.” She proceeded to yell at my brother and sister for me ignoring her, and called me judgemental, insecure, and a generally nasty person. Those of you that know me, know that typically it takes quite a bit for me to get pissed enough at someone to do anything about it. I do bottle a lot of rage, and release it only on rare events, such as a roommate lying to me about everything, someone living off me for months and concluding it was my fault, constantly dealing with a stripper in my way, and coding something that I can screw up and spam people with. My brother was updating me with text messages about the whole event. I told him that he should tell her that if she has a problem with me, she should be talking to me, instead of yelling at him. She became slightly more quiet after that. She said, “Judgemental people are just covering up their own insecurities,” to which my brother replied, “Aren’t you judging judgemental people? Does that make you a hypocrite?” To which my dad chuckled, and she shut up, for the moment.

She has also mentioned to my brother and sister that I will not know what it is to be a father. Perhaps this alludes to her knowing that I am gay. However, she ignores the fact that I could adopt a child, or that there is researching being made into combining the DNA of two males to create a child, or I could find a surrogate, or God knows what else. I may be a parent someday, I’ve periodically thought about being a parent, as I would genuinely enjoy having a child. Anyhow, back to Tramp drama… all this yelling is occuring at The Cheesecake Factory. That’s right, the same father who said he wouldn’t bring a truck up because of expenses is not only staying at a four star hotel downtown, but also eating at a rather expensive restaurant, well at least expensive by his standards. The selection of this restaurant was a direct result of Tramp’s influence, and some desire she had for a steak dinner. Let me mention now that Tramp does not work. She worked in Albuquerque, but not since she moved in with Dad. Her income comes largely from her deceased, divorced husband because she has custody of her daughter, and thus she gets his social security check, but only because of her daughter. Tramp did consume a glass of wine. The total bill for this outing was $120, for 5 people. Dad and my sister shared an entree, Tramp had the same entree for herself, my brother had an $8 appetizer, and God knows what her daughter had.The entree shared between Dad and my sister, and the one Tramp had all to herself included a small steak, 3 large shrimp, and cost somewhere around $35-ish. All this paid for of course by Dad, who constantly complains about being broke and having to live paycheck to paycheck. Isn’t he just a pile of contradictions? Back to this wonderfully expensive dinner, at the mention of me, my brother’s comebacks, and her bitch jolt, there was yelling until proved hypocrite, and then sulken wine-drinking. She did not eat her meal and got it to go. My brother and sister walked back to the hotel room, Dad and Tramp took a rickshaw back to the hotel room. She yelled at Dad, “Here, you eat this, it can clog your arteries.” Dad, knowing that Maria was not filled from the small, yet expensive entree the two split, told her that she could have some of it if she wanted. My sister started towards the leftovers and was immediately barked at by Tramp, “Don’t touch that, that’s mine.” Dad told Tramp, “If it’s just going to go to waste otherwise, she might as well have some.” My sister had lost her appetite as a result of the yelling.

My brother and I had spoken breifly before dinner and planned to do something after his dinner. It being after ten before they finished, I decided driving around Denver would be about the only thing to do. I planned to take him and my sister, if she wanted to come, up to Lookout Mountain, so that they could see the city lit up at night. Around the time of this leftovers disaster, I was nearing the hotel they were staying at. Dad suggested that the kids go down to the lobby to meet me. Dad had no problem with the kids going with me. However, tramp was quite opposed to the idea. This became another point for the two to fight about.

The last thing my brother and sister saw as they left the hotel room was Dad moving towards the leftovers, and her screaming “Don’t touch that, it’s mine!.” The door closed.

I found my brother and sister in the hotel lobby waiting for me. 30 seconds later I received a call from Dad. He asked me if I could give him a ride home in the morning, because Tramp had left. I reasoned that in order to make it home with little damage to my schedule, and make it back to Denver for work Monday morning, it would be best to head out tonight. I had to make a run to my apartment, clean out my trunk, packed my alcohol, filled my car up with gas, and drove to get Dad. When I made it there, Dad was in the lobby with about half the luggage. The other half had been taken by Tramp in a bitch jolt, because she did not know where her house key was. Among the half that she took was my brother’s laptop and his summer homework project for English. We started the drive home, made it about four blocks, when he calls Tramp to ask if she needs to follow us so that she gets on the right road home. She found her house key, it was in her glove box, removed to give to valet the car key only. I circled back around, told Dad that I wanted Mark’s homework project and laptop before I would show her the way back to Farmington. He quickly jumped out and grabbed these and we headed out. Tramp is a terrible driver. Most of the way she was going at least fifteen below the speed limit.

This became the little bit of time that Dad and I could talk alone without his tramp present. He mentioned that she was bipolar, but unable to get medication because she doesn’t have health insurance, which she can’t get on until my Dad is legally divorced and then marries her. This is also a thought that makes me gag. He said that she just wants everyone to like her, and how it showed I didn’t have respect for him when I intentionally ignored her and her daughter. I told him that I was being respectful to him by not telling her what I thought of her. I had determined that althought it was a stupid idea for myself to make the drive to Farmington and back in one day, I would do it, if only to show him that I would jump to help him despite his reluctance to help me. His trip to Denver was in no way beneficial to me. He decided after we got a little ways out of town that it was pointless to have two vehicles going the same direction, despite one being enough to accomidate everyone. He called spoke to her, patched things up however they could be patched, and I found a place to pull over so that him and the kids could move over to her car. The kids really didn’t want to be forced in the same car with them, but it was ridiculous of him to even consider asking me to make the trip. He really should’ve rented a car to make the drive home, but me suggesting such would’ve lessened the message I wanted to get across to him of making no hesititation to help him when he needed it. I drove back home, alone and crashed as soon as I made it home. The kids made it home to Mother safely.

And so ended the little of episode of how a need to get a mattress home turned into a rather cunty experience.

God knows what drama I can cause when I make the move back to Farmington.

That’s all for now.

Today was overall a great day. My friend through a mini-BBQ and made probably the best cheeseburger I’ve ever had. She also made some wonderful shrimp, and delightful deviled eggs. It was a nice little gathering, and I really enjoyed it. Afterwards I came home and attempted to make a stir fried noodle thingy which didn’t turn out exactly as planned, but really wasn’t bad. I then decided I would run to the store and buy some vanilla ice cream and make some bananas foster. Although there are dozens of recipes for this dessert, I like to keep mine simple. Some brown sugar, butter, cooked for a bit, then add bananas and cook them for a bit, mix in the rum and ignite it, and you have a yummy simple caramel dessert that is wonderful on ice cream. I was at Walmart grabbing some ice cream, noticed they had Fresno peppers, which one of my friends was frantically looking for the other day. I sent him a text message letting him know that Walmart had them, and their price. There were a couple of text messages back and forth, basically him asking me what I was buying him, which I really had no intention of buying him anything, then that he was under his goal calorie intake for the day, so apparently I was supposed to bring him dessert or something to help *rolls eyes*. I tell him I was planning to go home and make bananas foster. He asks if I have all the necessary liquors. I tell him I have rum and brown sugar, and that’s really all I need. He proceeds to tell me how I need to have at least 2 more liquors and what I am making cannot be called bananas foster, and this has just pissed me off to no end. I was in a good mood, generally happy and energetic, then I get this asshole telling me I’m doing something wrong, which in no way affects him and really just annoys the hell out of me. He doctors recipes all the time, I guess nothing he makes can be called what it originally was. I actually like my own recipe more than his, and he considers it one of his signature desserts… meh… and there’s a simple nice gesture turned into me resenting him right now. Leave my cooking alone, damnit. And let me take this moment to say, putting fried shallots from an Asian market on everything you make is a bad idea, because they’re not that great to begin with.

Because of the infestation of my apartment I put off making the dessert tonight, but I definitely will tomorrow. In the meantime I’m enjoyed a pint of Haagen-Dazs Reserve Hawaiian Lehua Honey & Sweet Cream ice cream. It was the last pint of this flavor at Walmart, so it was kinda clearanced for only $2 for the pint, and it is absolutely marvelous. I ate maybe 1/4 a cup. When it comes to ice cream, I generally just want a lil and I’m good to go.

Living with a stripper has got to be one of the torments the truly evil are faced with in Hell.
I guess I just miss my quiet evenings to myself… 2 weeks Stripperbitch has resided in the apartment and for 2 weeks I’ve imagined ways of being rid of her. I gave her yapping dog a death threat yesterday and she actually quieted down for a while. Finally some refrigerator and freezer space is clearing up. I did not know it was necessary to leave a radio on loud while one takes a shower in another room… maybe it’s just a stripper thing…
I believe that strippers are like children, they should be seen and not heard.
Today I ate real ramen. It was pretty yummy. I’ll have to do some heavy doctoring of a package later… miso + green onions + wakame seaweed + bean sprouts + a hard boiled egg = yummy.